While waiting for TRE and to become my little one’s caregiver I signed up for delivery apps and still work my normal full time job. Two of the apps I’m waiting for my background check to clear and one of them cleared me but the orders are going slowly because you have to use a payment card I don’t currently have. I can use my google wallet which I do. But it means slower going with orders.

I’ve been checking the app consistently and so far two orders and 12 dollars. I’m okay with that as it’s better than nothing but it’s painful knowing I could have had a ton of orders on the other apps. However, I can do the other delivery driving with my kids since it’s run in grab the order drive to location, drop, take picture, run. I just really want to make enough to pay the rest of my bills. With the two garnishments and childcare I’m drowning a little bit.

But I’m hanging in there. I never expected child support from my youngest’s dad and my oldest’s dad and I do not pay child support as we support our son and each other in other ways. My youngest’s dad told me flat out he refuses to pay child support for a kid he can’t see and pretty much dodged the sheriff when they tried to serve him. Child support services is involved because of when I was on TANF last year and well I refuse to ask for help when I can figure it out on my own.

I had to stop writing as I got two orders in the middle of typing. I only made 30 dollars today but it was enough for a tank of gas so I’m not complaining, I’ll definitely make more when I get my physical shopper card though I honestly think I prefer the fast food delivery to this. It was rough. I hate grocery shopping for myself, doing it for other people is harder. However, I know it will get easier as time goes on.

I will absolutely do doordash more instead when I get the chance (when my background check comes back) as it was busy all day and the one I did was not.

Anyway, I’m busy as hell, exhausted, and officially working two jobs right now trying to start a third so my being MIA is due to all the Dr appointments, the ABA, work and exhaustion. I am proud to say I haven’t missed a single appointment for these kids, the baby has not missed a single day of ABA that they didn’t cancel or he didn’t have another appointment, and they aren’t feeling the squeeze like mom is. I’m burned out and trying to handle all our auDHD symptoms and keep us all emotionally regulated. It’s not easy. Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had and the most thankless yet most worth it. I love my babies more than anything especially myself and so I will continue to do what it takes to keep them safe, happy and healthy.

Until next time.