Ever wonder how you do it all? Why is your life so busy and what brought you here? Ever wonder how you do it all by yourself?

I know I do. Working full time, being away from my kids 12 hours a day. Away from home sometimes 13 to 15 hours depending what I’m doing, if I have to meet the oldest’s father for pick up/ drop off. Then of course there’s doctors appointments, the dentist, eye exams, and all of the therapies my youngest is in twice a week for now. In the next 2 to 3 weeks we will be starting ABA full time. It’s a lot and sometimes I don’t know how I function. Especially when I’m really not making a livable wage. The only reason I can afford my life is because my paycheck covers everything except rent. I paid that for the year through my taxes which are pretty much gone now.

It doesn’t really leave much room for fun when the only free spaces these days are the parks and getting the toddler to not try and run into the street instead of play on the equipment is well a huge feat.

As of right now I’m trying to get a diagnostic appointment for Babyzilla and then next week he and his Alligator brother have dentist appointments. I need to make another cardiologist appointment for my oldest and get the neurologist appointment for the baby boy knocked out. Not to mention trying to stay above water, still doing all the housework and cooking, try to relax and spend some time doing things for myself, i.e. self care. It’s a lot. It’s very draining.

How I get it done alone is beyond me but I do. It’s worth it to make sure my kids are healthy and get the things they need. I don’t want my babies struggling in school or even adulthood and well I would die for them. I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it, they are my everything. What saved me.

Parenting is rough but it’s an even crazier challenge when your children are neuro spicy. You have different challenges to contend with like it’s normal for them to have constipation, sensory issues, fight diaper changes, teeth brushing, potty training, and everything else under the sun. My toddler rips his pants off and just pees on the floor but won’t sit on a toilet for more than 2 seconds, won’t let me brush his hair or teeth without my apartment turning into World War Three or a paper bomb. I still try but it’s hard to pin down a squirmy child when it’s just you and his older brother who’s still in a brace after breaking his arm.

The Alligator is also only around during weekends or every other week with summer coming up which is also a financial challenge because daycare costs more but it’s worth it to get to see my child. It’s just such a hard balancing act and then of course I’m also neurodivergent so I have my own challenges like procrastination and topic bouncing or even finishing a project. I do what I can but it’s not without its challenges. Nothing is these days.

That’s all for now. Therapy is about to be over, I dropped off a ton of clothes to goodwill today and now I need to get home with the baby and clean the apartment, cook, the normal weekend wildness.