So I was working on a third post yesterday, knocking them out! When my computer’s weird little quirk happened and the caps lock acted like it was on when it was off. As in my letters were all capital (like I’m screaming at you in whatever tone) unless I turned the caps lock on. Weird I know, it starts and stops on it’s own. Seems to be when I’m flustered, every electronic I have seems to act up worse when I’m in a bad mood but that’s just the story of my life at this point. Anyway, the good news! I finally got a job offer! As long as both background checks (I have to get a normal and criminal background check done for this job.) go well I should start on the 18th! I have to do a drug test and get my finger prints done…again, (I think) I’ve gotten fingerprinted for about 3 of my previous jobs, but that’s not a big deal. The drug test isn’t for weed so I will pass it no problem.

The two hiccups I ran into are that I can’t ride the bus, I have to take the good old put put car I am borrowing from my friend and the original child care I lined up ended up ghosting me so I had to go with someone else. Which is frustrating, why not just tell me you didn’t want to? Why get my hopes hope that you were down to watch my kids when you weren’t? Anyway, I digress. I am able to get the kids to the sitter then myself to work. It’s about 10 minutes out of the way adding 20 minutes to my over all drive to and from work BUT I should be able to get my car legal within 1 to 3 months so I won’t have to deal with the put put during the cold months when it acts up the absolute most.

If I end up having to take a few Ubers or Lyfts here and there I will so long as it isn’t all the time. Shit gets expensive when I am paying all my bills alone, plus a nanny, and trying to fix a car. When I worked at the care home it was anywhere from $17 to $35 and that isn’t including surge prices or tip. BUT I could ride the bus to work 3 days a week and take an Uber home and then take an uber round trip the one day busses don’t run. That is IF the put put breaks down, I will keep driving it until I either don’t have to or can’t anymore. I hope I won’t ever need Uber or Lyft it’s 38 bucks one way to get to work from here….no thank you. I’m so not that rich my dude. I’m going to be able to comfortably afford my apartment and so on, that’s IF they don’t take away my food stamps and Medicaid like the Cheeto in Chief is trying to do. I hate that everything is getting so expensive and unbearably so.

Though with how much the put put can act up, it has behaved pretty well lately so that at least is good. Even when the stabilitrack bullshit turns on right now, it doesn’t fuck with RMPs like usual and if I can keep the tank above 1/2 at all times it will act up less. Honestly if it breaks down, I will probably have to take my car, avoid main streets and pray I don’t see any cops or get pulled over. I won’t risk it unless I have to, I won’t lose my job over no transportation when I have a car that runs and drives fine, I’ll just have to make sure I get the headlights fixed before I attempt to drive it. With the money I will be making, I should be fine, even paying a sitter to watch the kids full time since it isn’t a daycare facility, it’s a friend who also couldn’t find work. the only thing that really makes me nervous is the car, I need it to last me. We’ve done good so far though, even acting up the car seems to be holding it together just for me. I need to get an oil change first chance I get and have a little extra money, its been due for one for at least six months probably longer.

Perks of being beyond broke for over a year… I really hope this new job is a fresh start and a whole new chapter of good for us. I can’t keep doing the excess bullshit over and over again. I’m still kind of upset about getting ghosted by the neighbor but that is a minor detail, she was getting weird about watching the kids anyway. Side note, this was my eldest’s first week of school and aside from some minor trouble his second day, he did great. I can’t wait for him to come home for the weekend, especially since I am in a better mood with finally having a way to support us.

Now I play the waiting game until everything else comes back and just make sure I have all my shit in order, relax and reset while I get ready to start work in a week! There is still that negative side of me that is scared this won’t work and they will turn me away for whatever reason but I don’t think that will actually happen, I have a pretty clean record and I haven’t been arrested for anything. I don’t think I even have an unpaid ticket, Ex2 has at least one but I don’t that I know of. I keep my nose clean as much as possible and try to stay out of/ away from trouble. I just have really bad taste in romantic partners and some friends due to the abusive background I have (victim not abuser in most cases, I was the problem in some of my past relationships while being young, unhealed, and toxic trying to survive).

Anyway that’s all for now, the fears, the recent struggles, the updates. I’m going to go either work on the other post I was editing before the computer glitched or play with the baby since he just rose like the undead from his nap.