Yet again I vanished because life has been a lot. Work has been nuts with short staffing and people taking their floating holidays all at the same time. Not that I’m mad. I’m about to go on a mini vacation because I took all mine together the week of Christmas. Not that I’m religious or even celebrate the holidays. More so I want to spend more time with kids and my oldest is out of school so instead of paying 300 for child care this upcoming week I’m spending most of it home with my babies.

I also work in a high burn out field that feels like that Bowling for Soup song “High School Never Ends” so I definitely need this. I work tomorrow (possibly today or yesterday depending when I actually post this) and I don’t even want to. On my last day of work last week I heard some rumors about myself and they royally irked me. One because why y’all talking about me, two why y’all lying, and three I don’t know, maybe keep my name out of your god damn mouths.

It’s hard to balance life these days, work feeling like they’re trying to suck out your soul, balancing what I need with what the kids need, never getting a break between being the housekeeper, cook, and working full time, plus trying to raise heathens to be decent people. Having to try not to get crushed under the weight of unbridled late stage capitalism and figuring out how to balance all the bills. Where the hell do I find time for myself?

Anyway, I also spend the majority of my days off trying not to stress out about everything I have going on, cleaning my apartment, and figuring out meals for the week. I still find it super weird that I like to cook now and I am actually good at it but I’ll take it.

The stressful things keeping my brain spinning were a paternity hearing a little over a week ago that went my way (yay but stress in the moment and andrenaline that had nowhere to go but dissipate) a couple weeks before that I worked an extra day to get some overtime that I didn’t even get to see on my paycheck because of the stupid car garnishment from 2022 (still getting bit in the ass by my second ex-husband who I’m still in the process of divorcing). The day I worked that bullshit overtime I got a nasty bruise on my leg from getting in-between two of our clients who were about to fight and trying to keep them calm/ separate them…. And yeah, of course I’m also stressed because I’m just watching the price of EVERYTHING sky rocket while making below the poverty line and losing all of my government assistance. Whoever voted for the Cheeto in Chief you kind of suck a lot. Did the price of them eggs come down? Ha! Nope sure didn’t.

Of course the Great Toddler Terror aka Babyzilla the paper massacring fiend has been shredding everything he can get his hands on and I’ve been going behind him with a broom cleaning up the messes. Something his dad said while we were messaging (he isn’t really in the picture, it’s complicated) was “another paper life brought to an end by a 3 foot terror” and well he’s very much not wrong. This kid is a terror and about 2.5 to 3 ft tall. He’s massive for a 2-year-old. Hence Babyzilla or the Godzilla of the paper world. If anyone needs a high powered shredder I got a toddler that would love to destroy your paper for you.

Anywho. I work tomorrow and should probably go to bed at a decent hour since I gotta be up early. Safe travels for the holidays and unpleasant dreams as Elvira would say. Remember you aren’t alone.