I don’t really know why or what happened, I completely lost a day last week, kept thinking it was a day earlier in the week than it was. Today I finally have it drilled in my brain that it is indeed Saturday, (It was still Saturday, a lot happened that morning, I’ll get into it) planned out my whole week accordingly, and am sitting waiting to check some stuff off my to do list and have some new answers. Yay.

The hurry up and wait game sucks every time and I am not good at it. I go look at that due date and either do everything the same day or have task paralysis and end up putting it off until the last minute. I don’t mean to, I’m usually really organized, however years of trauma, two kids, the sudden singleness and everything else has me a little scatter brained. I’ve been thinking I have everything together and forgot something, grabbed too many things, ran a little late, or got somewhere a day early or at the wrong location (all things that have happened since the incident).

As of late, I’ve definitely felt like the tragic single mom in the room com minus the new man or the start of a harrowing crime drama. Neither sounds fun to me if I’m being honest. Ten out of ten don’t recommend. This new life is a lot and hard to manage. I’m definitely stuck in chaos and there are more bad or difficult moments than good , or at least there were in the beginning of all this. Every day differs and some are way better than others. The baby isn’t keeping me up  most nights. He’s sleeping pretty solidly again and I appreciate that. Nap time is hit or miss but bedtime we’ve been down by 11:30 every night since we came back from K’s for the 5 day stay.

Still a little hellion to get attention though, screams for no reason, dumps drinks, rips up paper, throws electronics, the works. That’s hard to deal with because he’s also a fucking speed demon, child is gone in the blink of an eye. Just this morning he dumped his brother’s clothes in the toilet while my oldest was in the shower then ran across the apartment to dump my drink. Less than a 10 second time frame. He already needed a bath but if he didn’t his sticky legs would have needed it after that. Bath time was water and toys everywhere so more chaos. And the day isn’t even really started, we’re going to the DMV soon which is what sparked the insane morning.

After waiting two and a half hours I found out there were issues with the car we were discussing registering, we talked about some important life stuff and off we went to look at a different car I had been eyeing up the street before he dropped me back off and took the oldest for the rest of the weekend. I ended up just resting the rest of the day, played some Animal Crossing before finishing High Potential, great show.

I ended up spending all day Father’s Day with the Rugrat and deep diving into the show that High Potential is based on called Haut Potential Intellect, a French dramady that is English Dubbed. I love it so much. Both versions are amazing and make me feel super seen as an Autistic and ADHD woman with high intellect, inability to hold down a job, and single with two kids from two different fathers who also does incredibly stupid shit for how smart I am (something my mom yelled at me for, for years). Anyway, today was more of the same, no information and I need to go to the courthouse again tomorrow since everything is going the way it is and I straight lost my week last week falling behind and playing catch up.

Until next time.