His Secrets, My Pain

Welcome to the Freakshow, all survivors have a place here, so long as you behave.

Apologies for Disappearing

I promise I didn’t vanish for good. The baby has not been sleeping well so I took to writing on paper in stead of typing things here. The oldest had a couple extra days off school kind of throwing everything off as well. I have a stock pile of posts for you, I will be getting them up as soon as I can.

I have had TANF meetings with the intake specialist, the DV specialist, and the work management specialist all since I started going silent. I have an appointment with a lawyer on Monday, still haven’t made it to the DMV, still have to finish the parenting class and go back to the court house to file some things, really need to hurry up and serve dickhead with the divorce too.

I will say that I have managed to work through some of the “Let That Shit Go” workbook and the Gaslighting recovery workbook there have been two if not three chapters dented. I also got through two of the nine units on my parenting class today so I am making some progress on top of sick and sleepless children. Money is a little tight and stressful playing that hurry up and wait game with the cards and such. It is so fucking annoying and I am not patient but I know that it will be okay because I am still pushing through. I haven’t really touched the Shadow Work book yet but I will soon enough.

I finally got the fabric I needed for backing on my sweater, the baby wouldn’t let me type, kicked my computer every time I tried, so I hand wrote a bunch of passages, read my workbooks, and crocheted the rest of the back panel, one of the sleeves and 2/3 of the second sleeve since yesterday. I’d say that is something. Life has definitely been stressful and crazy, I am doing my best to get everything situated and just be done. Court of course takes a while, getting everything situated of course, takes a while. It’s a lot to do isn’t it? A never ending stream of things to do.

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Alice
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About

Welcome to my version of a support group. An anonymous blog about surviving anything wild your life throws at you. This blog is a combination of commentary about women in media, how they relate to real women today, and a memoir of my healing journey after a major life altering event, finding out I’m being cyber stalked, and getting hit with everything and anything a person can be attacked with. I use media and dark humor to help me cope and I love having discussions especially nerdy media debates.

I’m a newly single mom in my 30s, sultry and salty, I have two children and the mouth of a quick witted sailor. What can I say we use fuck like a comma in this house. My story is filled with trauma, pain, what sounds like a grim dark thriller side plot, and funny enough resilience, beauty, love. So what was my solution to the suffering? Create an anonymous blog to share my story and keep my identity secret from my stalker as long as possible.

I want this to be a safe place for the unsafe; the neurodivergent, victims of abuse, sex trafficking, painfully introverted people, those who did their time for their crimes and are still treated like trash, the wrongfully accused with life in prison, innocent with no one believing them and their days of freedom long gone.

That being said, I will be flinging satire and dark humor at you like the abuse my ex so wonderfully shoved down my throat. When you live like I have, the darkness becomes armor the humor an addiction you can’t ween off of, it becomes your coping skill and I don’t know about you, I love it.

This memoir meets commentary is going to be going into some of the media I love the most, the things that feel like they are coming true right now, that I relate to most as a woman on the edge. I think most of the women in child bearing age range can see how the Handmaid’s Tale is becoming a patriarchal wet dream turned reality nightmare with Fascism on the rise.

So I am here, offering a hand to those drowning, feeling alone, saying Welcome to my Freakshow, all are welcome here, as long as we can be respectful of others, no hate speech, no bullying, no soliciting. Feel free to stay anonymous or shout your name from the rooftops. Abusers will be immediately banned, I don’t tolerate that behavior, don’t ruin it for others.

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