Guess that’s not it. Part of me does feel crazy, I’m going off intuition with literally everything in my life and that is scary. Trying to be successful is terrifying, that’s part of why it’s so difficult. Especially for someone like me that is so used to someone around me sabotaging me that I end up doing it myself to beat them to the punch. However, I might be a wackadoodle but I know that I am not crazy for trying to move on and push forward.

It’s really the waiting in limbo and having a million things I have to do now and three million things I need to hurry up, wait for. I’m terrified of falling into old lazy habits, more petrified of burn out. It’s been 2 months of being a single parent and this is not for the faint of heart, I will tell you that much. It’s getting easier, I mean I still miss him like an addict in withdrawal. It’s physically painful how much I miss him and how broken I feel without him here. I can handle it, I will survive, I have to for my babies.

These long sleepless nights are getting ridiculous though. My youngest slipped back into his insomniatic ways and my sleepy behind wants nothing more than to sleep through the night again. Doesn’t help that while the red demon was flowing last week my insomnia was also acting up. It’s been closer to two weeks of not sleeping enough for me instead of one. I will survive! I smell a grocery order with some energy drinks approaching if I am going to continue with this feeling of no gods damn energy.

So, I’ll be honest, this week has been pretty lazy since I haven’t been sleeping. It’s more like one important call a day instead of 3 applications, three posts, working on the book, and two or three important calls through out the day. I’m beating myself up for feeling like days are flying and I can’t keep up. There are 24 hours in a day, why am I not using every single one wisely?! Oh yeah, I’m being too hard on myself again. I have two young, very needy children who have special needs and I am still keeping up with everything I need to. I may not be as on top of everything as I hoped but the important things are getting done by the time they are due. That is what matters, isn’t it.

For those of you out there, feeling similar just know, you aren’t alone. You are doing the best you can. This one is important and I need to remember it too; REST is IMPORTANT too. You have to take care of yourself. It’s okay if you slacked a little, we all do. Starting here and now, start taking better care of you, the rest will follow. I am saying this to myself too. Comment your stories below. Do you feel stuck too? Why?

Just remember;