What do you do when your world comes crashing down and you’re terrified to talk about it because not only is what happened one hell of a doozy, your worst abuser comes out of the wood work to remind you that he is now digitally stalking you, has been since he left, and he is now going to rock your shit sideways, not in a fun way, in an I’m going to take everything from you and leave you with nothing but the oxygen in your lungs, if you’re lucky. I love a good threat before coffee, don’t you?
He’s trying to take me out legally but doesn’t have a leg to stand on or a pot to piss in, he’s a narcissist and an idiot trying to win a war that he lost a year ago when he walked out. Now that he’s back I am up to my eyeballs in shit to do playing the hurry up and wait game while he twiddles his thumbs, taking shots in the dark thinking he sunk my battle ship, well guess what, you missed mother fucker, try again.
I went from beginning the year excited to start fresh, start my business, move the fuck on from the hell year of 2024. I should be so lucky, the event as I like to call it, happened at the end of February leaving me a single mom, that’s when the Fire Nation attacked in the form of my stalker/ abusive ex husband, one in the same. Threatening to take a child he abandoned well over a year ago just to swoop in and try to take him now. Over my dead body you vulture.
I’m not the first woman to deal with a psycho ex, shit he sounds like the ex husband of half the people I have known over the years, the only thing special about a narcissist is their dangerous sense of self and how abusive they are willing to be to be “special”. As someone with anxiety, ADHD, and depression , I am narcissist catnip and I hate it.
Part of the journey I am taking in this blog is healing my wounds. I did EMDR therapy extensively for three years until I graduated, and was heavily medicated for that time. I’ve been unmedicated for a year and while my anxiety can be debilitating sometimes, I have been able to self regulate pretty well and I’m taking the next steps in healing by doing the Shadow Work Journal and The Gaslighting and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Workbook to better have a handle on my emotions while going against this Tyrannical Patrick Bates want to be in court.
I’ve been learning how to fight my battles for years, but now, with a covert narcissist back and ready to sink their claws into me again. It’s time to take the healing journey and my final escape seriously. He won’t win, can’t win or my baby is in jeopardy, I’ll die first. I won’t let a man with delusions and hatred in his heart raise a child that isn’t his and he abandoned. The courts won’t either, but I will gladly give him enough rope to hang himself and watch him flounder like the moronic cunt he is.
His Secrets, My Pain 
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